If Belonging Is the Heart of What We Do - We Need to Define It

Belonging is having a moment. Organizations across sectors describe it as a goal, a value, or an aspiration. Yet Belonging is more than a hopeful sentiment. It is the experience of feeling seen, valued, connected, and needed. Creating Belonging does not happen by accident. It requires having a shared definition, intentionally designing for it, and consistently assessing achievement of our Belonging goals. If organizations are serious about Belonging, they must move beyond aspiration and toward intentional practice and accountability.

Before we can design for Belonging, we need to be clear about what we are trying to create. Belonging is not one thing; it is a multidimensional experience.  As I discussed in Concentric Circles of Belonging, Belonging can be experienced at different levels beginning with the individual and then moving outward to a single organization, local communities and finally to society.  In addition to where Belonging takes place, it is also useful to think about Belonging across three interconnected dimensions: Relational

Belonging, Belonging to a chosen micro-community, and Belonging to a larger macro-community. While these dimensions of Belonging are universal, the ways people experience them are deeply influenced by their stage of life. Adding a developmental lens helps ensure that our definition of Belonging remains both comprehensive and responsive to people's lived experiences.  When setting goals for Belonging, we must be explicit about where Belonging is taking place, what type of Belonging we hope to foster, and whose experience of Belonging we are seeking to understand across different stages of life.

To better understand Belonging, let’s first unpack its interconnected dimensions and the way they are experienced and prioritized across different developmental stages and community roles.  At each of the three dimensions, there is both a basic and a participatory level of Belonging. The basic level involves being welcomed, included, and provided with accommodations as needed.  This level involves individuals knowing each other’s names. At the participatory level, an individual’s voice and agency is more evident. Individuals are appreciated for their unique gifts, are comfortable showing up as their authentic selves, and can freely express opinions, including disagreements.

The first dimension focuses on interpersonal relationships, social connection, and the human need for attachment.  Among the dimensions of Belonging, this is perhaps the most extensively studied. Researchers in psychology have argued that the desire to form and maintain positive, lasting relationships is not simply a preference but a fundamental human need.  A strong sense of Belonging has been linked to success across educational, workplace, and community settings. In addition, social isolation and loneliness have been identified as important risk factors for physical health and mental well-being. Given the growing body of research linking Belonging to individual and community well-being, it is not surprising that local organizations increasingly seek to place Belonging at the center of their work. The challenge, however, is not deciding whether Belonging matters. It is determining what Belonging looks like for the specific people they serve and how they can know whether those individuals actually experience it.

For children and teens, Relational Belonging at its most basic level centers on friendships and meaningful connections with caring adults. Young people are often more likely to participate when they know peers are likewise involved. Research from youth development settings, including summer camps, suggests that forming friendships and developing positive relationships with adult mentors are associated with stronger feelings of belonging. At a deeper, participatory level, children and teens want to know they can bring their authentic selves into a community, express their opinions, ask questions, and disagree without fear of rejection. To assess whether a program is fostering Relational Belonging, organizations might ask whether participants know their name, whether they have developed friendships, if there are adults they trust, and if they feel comfortable sharing ideas that differ from those of their peers or leaders.

Adults share many of the same Relational Belonging needs as children and teens, but these needs are often expressed in more complex and nuanced ways. Adults experience Relational Belonging through meaningful friendships, trusted relationships, and connections with people who share common interests, values, or experiences. For those building households, Belonging often extends beyond the individual to include partners and children. Adults who are active community members or leaders may increasingly seek relationships grounded in a shared purpose, collective responsibility, or common mission. For empty-nesters and older adults, opportunities to develop new relationships, including intergenerational connections, can be particularly important. At a deeper, participatory level, Relational Belonging is characterized by relationships that are mutually supportive and co-created. Individuals both give and receive support, recognize one another's unique gifts and contributions, and work together toward shared goals and aspirations. To assess whether a program is fostering Relational Belonging among adults, organizations can ask questions that reflect different life stages and community roles, exploring the quality of relationships, the presence of trusted connections, opportunities for mutual support, and the extent to which individuals feel known, valued, and able to contribute.

Relational Belonging is both fundamental and indispensable. Yet if the goal is to create a vibrant community, we need to assess if we have organizations where those relationships can deepen into a sense of membership, identity, and shared experience. Personal Relational Belonging can happen outside of a community, but Community Belonging builds on Relational Belonging by ensuring that everyone is able to find a chosen "home" within the broader ecosystem of community life.  This is not a one-size-fits-all process. Different people will be drawn to different groups, organizations, and experiences. An individual’s micro-community could be a congregation, camp, volunteer group, young adult network, affinity group, or other communal "home." The work of “Micro-Community Belonging” is to understand whether individuals throughout the local community have found a place where they belong, identify who has not yet found that place, and strengthen the communities that serve as meaningful homes for others.

Measuring Micro-Community belonging requires looking beyond participation counts and attendance metrics. Two levels of measurement are needed to assess micro-community Belonging. At the basic level, organizations should examine whether members experience the community as welcoming and accessible. Are people greeted by name? Do leaders know something about their lives and involvement? Do participants know and connect with one another? Are accommodations available for different needs? At the participatory level, the focus shifts to ownership, contribution, and mutual responsibility. Do members feel comfortable sharing their authentic selves? Is respectful disagreement welcomed? Are individuals recognized for their unique strengths and contributions? Do people feel that their time, talents, and resources are genuinely needed? Perhaps most importantly, do members take responsibility for one another and for the wellbeing of the community itself? These indicators help distinguish a community that people attend from a community they help create.

The work of fostering Relational Belonging and Micro-Community Belonging is both essential and substantial. Communities must create opportunities for people to build meaningful relationships, find their people, and discover a group, organization, congregation, camp, or program that feels like home. For many individuals, these experiences provide the personal benefits most often associated with belonging: connection, support, well-being, and a sense of identity.

Yet, if our goal is not only to help individuals thrive but also to strengthen the broader community, there is a third dimension of Belonging that cannot be overlooked. This is where Macro-Community Belonging becomes important. Individuals who understand themselves to be part of something larger than any one program, organization, or institution are often better positioned to carry their sense of Belonging across life transitions. The strongest communities therefore do more than help people find friends and a communal home; they help people understand how that home is connected to a larger ecosystem of relationships, institutions, and shared purposes.